A Year of Silence

Three days shy of a year of silence on this blog ...

Funny how it's easy to say "Yea, God!" when things seemed to be going peacefully and sensibly. The last year has been neither peaceful nor sensible in many ways.

Still, I wish I had been more vocal, even here, about the many "Yea, God!" moments:

The UCC National Youth Event -- bus ride and all the great, great kids!

I became a mother-in-law when Amy & Jaymz got married

Enjoying son & daughters, mom & sisters, nieces and nephew -- missing my brother and his family

Making plans for next year's cruise with the WHOLE family!

God still speaking and still leading ...

I am in transition --giving thanks for the Dille Parish UCC and saying heart-felt, sometimes heart-wrenching, good-byes -- and giving thanks for a new (to me) congregation and moving toward a new ministry setting at Jerusalem UCC.

I am at peace.
And I am back ... smiling ...

YEA GOD!

UNO!

Today is the last day of the two-week doctor-imposed "vow of silence" to give my voice a rest. She gave me a special dispensation for Sundays, so that I could preach and lead worship. Yesterday, I also did some talking at the two Bible studies I lead. Mostly, though, I have kept to it very diligently, and I really hope that it's helped. Because it's been harder than I thought.

The hard part is not remembering to not talk. I don't slip and talk without realizing it. It's just that life participation and self-reflection rely on verbal communication, and I've discovered that an introvert like me needs "people time" in ways I hadn't noticed before.

The interesting part is what people do when I communicate to them in writing on my personal-sized white marker board. When there are several people I'm "talking" to, they each take the board, read it silently, and then pass it on. I long for the first one to read it out loud, to be my voice for me. It seems it would be more efficient and make more sense and be more compassionate. I think I would instinctively do that, but no one else has.

The funny thing has been my non-verbal way of yelling. I have had, for a long time, a little squirt gun, no bigger than the palm of your hand. It really squirts, too! So, I keep it with my white marker board and use when I need to get the attention of youth and kids in our church or a certain youth leader who has mistakenly thought he could needle me without comeback during this time! The joke was on me when it leaked in my pocket last night during adult Bible study and so when I stood up, there was an embarrassing spot in an embarrassing place. I bring the jokes on myself most of the time.

The thing I miss most remains not singing -- in church, in life -- and that is still off limits until I see the doc.

Playing the last card of this game today! Yea!

Bits and Pieces

I made a pretty decent quiche last night out of some ham, mushrooms, onions and green pepper I had hanging around in my fridge. I modified Chef Larry's Ham and Mushroom Quiche recipe to fit my ingredients. For fun and health, I put it in a whole wheat pie crust that made "healthy" pretty delicious.

Today is DAY 10 of my 14-day doctor-imposed medical vow of silence. Seems to me that not talking makes it harder for me to get things done as quickly. I apparently talk my way through my whole life, singing and cheering myself on constantly. So, I'm not quite on time with the church newsletter or this Sunday's worship bulletin. Other slow-me-down things: Babies, children, teenagers, empty house, summer gardening, fall foliage gawking, keeping warm in winter, spring fever, a cup of coffee with a friend, and -- stop the world -- being out of coffee.

The even harder thing, pastorally speaking, is that our church is in crisis and grief because one of our dear ones is suffering from a sudden,incredibly debilitating mysterious illness. "If one member suffers, all suffer together ..." (1 Corinthians 12:26a) To comfort without words? Is it possible to do? Sure. Just not the usual. Maybe better. Who knows?

I got a visit from a Pocket Faerie yesterday! She brought me a magic treasure chest, and it was filled with hugs and love!

Refresh, Renew, Restart & Rejoice!

My friend Karen Anne has a new blog and it is wonderful! Check out Scones and Crones and soak up some "comfort and joy" -- Karen Anne style. KA has inspired me to reconstitute this blog and play around here with some thoughts and dreams and a-ha moments and some silliness, too. I need an outlet. Thanks, Karen Anne!

So ... I need to talk. Literally. Because I can't talk. Literally. Today is DAY 5 of my medical vow of silence. Completely no talking. For 2 whole weeks. And I've been forbidden to whisper, sing or yell since the doctor informed me 2 weeks and 2 days ago that I have a slight injury on my vocal cords that needs rest. The singing is the hardest. A surprising thing I've learned about myself is that I sing through my life. And, of course, I love to sing in church.

My COMFORT is my new constant companion -- a personal-sized white marker board where I write what I simply have to say. I'm on my second erasable marker. In 4 days, I burned out the first one.

My JOY is that I do get a special medical dispensation to talk in church. Still no singing -- or whispering or yelling -- but I do get to do the parts of the worship service that are mine, like the sermon. The lay worship leaders have been a delight and a great help! A lasting gift of this time is that I am going to be more disciplined in asking them more regularly to lead worship with me.

There are lessons in this, and the most obvious is the one everyone jokes about -- that is, I do talk too much. That's just a gift of a truth. I need to make space for other voices -- in the worship service, for example. I also see the value of other ways of communicating -- email, instant message, and body language. I have seen how my not being so verbal lets other people shine. And I've enjoyed listening! I've heard people in new ways, and I've been listening to my life.

I like what I hear!